


Powerless

by Dreamin



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers Tower, F/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Prompt Fill, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-05-19 22:26:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19365100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamin/pseuds/Dreamin
Summary: Steve is stripped of everything the serum gave him and it's up to Darcy to help him cope.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [afteriwake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/gifts).



> Let's just pretend Endgame never happened, okay? The Infinity War ended like it should have. Everybody's happy, healthy, and ALIVE, plus they're all living in Avengers Tower. Thor and Jane are married and they divide their time between New York and Norway. Tony and Pepper are married.

_What should I get Steve for his birthday?_ Darcy Lewis thought as she scrolled through page after page of her favorite store’s site. _I’ve only got a month._ She was seated at her desk in Jane’s lab at Avengers Tower, but since Jane herself was busy with her royal duties in Norway, Darcy had a lot of free time on her hands once she deciphered Jane’s handwriting on the scanned notes she’d emailed.

“Attention – casualty coming in.” Friday’s voice was calm but it didn’t do anything to ease Darcy’s sudden panic. The Avengers were on a rescue mission to save a scientist who had been kidnapped by the alien race the woman had been studying.

“Who’s dead?” Darcy demanded as she jumped to her feet, her voice a lot steadier than she felt. She was friends with everyone on the team, but none more so than Steve.

“No one’s dead, Ms. Lewis,” the AI secretary said patiently. “‘Casualty’ can also mean someone who’s wounded.”

“I swear to God, Friday, if you don’t tell me who’s coming in on a stretcher-”

“Capt. Rogers.”

Darcy’s knees gave out and she fell into her desk chair. “Is … is he okay?” There was a pause. _Friday never pauses._ “Dammit, Friday, answer me!”

“That depends on your definition of ‘okay,’” Friday said carefully.

“WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!”

“It means, Ms. Lewis,” Nick Fury said from the doorway, “that Rogers isn’t hurt, but he’s not himself.”

“God, did everyone drink cryptic juice this morning? What do you mean ‘he’s not himself?’ It was supposed to be a simple rescue mission!”

“‘Simple’ can become ‘complicated’ real fast. Rogers is asking for you. If you calm down and stop yelling at the AI, I’ll let you see him. I know you two are close.”

“We’re just friends,” she said automatically, something she did whenever someone brought up their relationship.

Fury smirked. “Everyone in SHIELD knows that by now, Lewis.” He took her up to the hospital floor of the tower then he stopped down the hall from the private rooms. “We don’t know if it’s permanent. Stark and Banner are working on reversing it … but don’t get your hopes up, or his.”

“Just tell me…” she pleaded, on the verge of tears.

“It would be better if I showed you,” Fury said as he pulled his phone from his pocket. “A SHIELD drone recorded everything.”

He brought up the video and Darcy watched her best friend fight half a dozen armored aliens. _There’s been so many, I can’t even remember which race this is._

“I got her!” Tony shouted as he flew away from the building with the kidnapped scientist in his arms.

By that point, Steve had taken out four of the goons and was fighting with the fifth when the sixth one pointed what looked to Darcy like a ray gun out of an old sci-fi movie.

“No!” she gasped just as the alien fired at Steve.

Steve fell to the ground, unconscious but that wasn’t all.

Darcy stared at the image on the phone. _Steve … shrank?_ She looked up at Fury, confused. “They shrank him? Why would they do that?”

“It’s not a shrink ray, Darcy,” Nat said from behind her. Her voice was gentler than Darcy had ever heard it and that’s when she knew the shit had really hit the fan.

She slowly turned to face her. “Then … then what is it?”

“It incapacitates the target by taking away their powers.”

“Which for Rogers means everything the serum did to him,” Fury said.

Darcy stared at him. “You mean he’s back to being-”

“A ninety-eight-pound, ornery, asthmatic pain in the ass?” Bucky asked as he approached them. “Yeah, except that now he knows what it feels like to be healthy, so he’s even more pissed off.” His tone softened. “Try to take his mind off it.”

“Kissing him would do the trick,” Nat added, smirking.

Fury rolled his eye. “Probably not a good idea to get an asthmatic hot and bothered.”

Darcy’s face felt like it was tomato red. “Er, we’re not-”

“We know,” the three of them said in unison.

“Go on, Ms. Lewis,” Friday said encouragingly. “He won’t stop asking for you.”

“Right…” Squaring her shoulders, Darcy marched up to the door of the largest private room and knocked lightly before her nerves left her.

“If that’s you, Tony, you gotta give me time to rehydrate before I give you another urine sample,” Steve said irritably from inside the room.

She couldn’t help a giggle. “It’s Darcy.”

There was a shuffling sound then he called out, “C’mon in.”

Taking a deep breath, she slowly opened the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Different canonical and semi-canonical sources list pre-serum Steve's height as 5'4" or 5'7". I'm going with 5'4" since Darcy is 5'4.5". :) The list of what diseases/symptoms he had also varies, so I'm going with what works best with the plot.

Steve watched from where he sat in the bed as Darcy came into the room. Just the sight of her was enough to both relax him and give him hope. _As long as she’s in my life, maybe there’s a chance things will go back to how they were before._ He grinned at her. “Hi, Darce.”

Her smile faltered a bit when she saw his body but then she gave him a big and, as far as he could tell, genuine smile. “Hey, Big Guy.”

His face fell as he looked away, muttering, “Not anymore.”

“You’ve still got the biggest heart of anyone I know,” Darcy said gently as she sat down on the bed close to him. “So, you’re still the Big Guy.”

He looked back at her, one eyebrow raised. “I’m half an inch shorter than you.”

“So?” She smiled a bit. “I won’t make any short jokes if you don’t.”

Steve couldn’t help smiling back. “Deal.” He sighed quietly as he looked down at his hands. “Bruce and Tony are trying to replicate what Dr. Erskine and Howard did.”

“If anybody can figure it out, it’s them,” she said confidently.

He looked up at her. “What if they can’t? What if I’m stuck like this for the rest of my life?”

“It wouldn’t be the end of the world, Steve,” she said gently, reaching out to take his hand. “Medicine’s come a long way since the ‘40s, you’ll be able to do more than you did back then.”

“But I won’t be Captain America,” he said quietly.

“Every hero retires eventually, assuming they live long enough.” She gently squeezed his hand. “You saved the world several times. If this is the end of the road for Captain America, at least you’ll go out knowing that. Besides, even without the serum, you can still help behind the scenes.” Her free hand came up to lightly brush his temple as she smiled at him softly. “You’re still as smart as ever. If the rest of the team has to leave you behind, you can still strategize.”

“Right,” he muttered, looking down at their joined hands. When she let his go, he absently rubbed it with his other hand. He looked up to see her looking at him curiously and he shrugged. “Sore joints.”

“Arthritis?”

“Yeah, complements of the scarlet fever I had as a kid.”

“Wow. I thought that was just something out of Victorian novels.”

“Most of my health problems don’t exist in this century, and the ones that do are a lot more treatable. I’m a medical relic.”

“What you are, Steven Grant Rogers, is the strongest man I know, with or without the serum,” Darcy said emphatically. “You’re a fighter. You’ve been fighting your entire life so don’t give up now.”

He smiled a bit. _She’s cute when she’s feisty._ “Is that an order?”

“You’re damn right it is.”

“You can’t order me, I’m a captain.”

Darcy grinned. “Yeah? Well, I’m a major pain, so I outrank you.”

Steve snorted with laughter.

* * *

Bruce and Tony ran every test they could think of but after a day and a night of observation (and Steve’s pestering), they agreed to let him leave the hospital floor, provided that he stay with someone.

“I’m not twelve, despite how I look,” Steve protested.

“You’re also asthmatic and easily fatigued,” Tony pointed out, not-so-gently. “Can’t have you collapsing with no way to contact anyone.”

“I’m sure Friday could-”

“You’re getting a roommate, Cap, and that’s final,” the billionaire insisted. “My tower, my rules.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Fine. Who’s the lucky stiff who gets stuck with me?”

“That would be me,” Darcy said from the doorway. She waved at him, smiling a bit. “Hi, roomie.”

The surprise he felt must have shown on his face – Bruce immediately explained, “We needed someone not on the team.”

“Right,” he muttered, then he looked back at Darcy. “So, um, your place or mine?”


	3. Chapter 3

Once the rest of the team moved Steve’s stuff into her apartment (which he repaid by buying them all pizza), Darcy decided to cheer up her new roommate by making cookies. Baking was her creative outlet and her stress relief. _And when my best friend is going through hell, we both need all the relief we can get._

She looked over at said best friend, who was sitting at her kitchen table, looking very cozy in pajamas and a robe, warming his hands on a cup of tea from the pot she’d made for him. He’d told her that the lack of any real flesh on his bones meant he got chilled easily.

“I hate this,” he muttered, then he looked up at her and explained, “Not being here, just … being sick again.”

“I know, Steve,” she said gently. “I’ll do everything I can to make it easier for you, you just take it easy.”

“I’m not an invalid,” Steve muttered as he turned back to his tea.

“Hey, I fully expect you to pull your weight around here, all ninety-eight pounds of it,” she said, smiling a bit, as she took out the ingredients for the cookies.

He looked up at her curiously. “How?”

“I’m always trying out new recipes, you get to be my taste-tester.”

“That’s me, professional guinea pig,” he muttered, but she noticed his little half-smile and that gave her hope.

Three batches of chocolate chip cookies later, Darcy was sitting across from Steve, a plate of cookies between them. She dunked hers in a glass of milk while he stuck to tea.

After several minutes of comfortable silence, Steve looked over at her. “You know, none of my doctors back then thought I’d live to see eighteen, let alone twenty-five.”

“That’s how old you were when you became Captain America?”

He nodded. “I should’ve died several times when I was a kid. Hell, I almost died when I had scarlet fever. My heart was damaged but it just wouldn’t quit.”

Darcy smiled fondly. “That’s what I love about it.” She studied his face for a moment. “Girls in the ‘40s were total dumbasses.”

Steve asked, surprised, “What? Why?”

“Skinny or not, you’re gorgeous. Those eyes, so blue and earnest. Those eyelashes. They’re more luxuriant than mine. Those lips. They look like they were made for kissing.” She smiled a bit. “That blush.”

His blush deepened as he stared at his tea. “I’m nothing special, not like this.”

“Hey, enough of that,” she said firmly. “Don’t put yourself down just because you don’t have the serum running through your veins. You’re still a hero, just not ‘super.’” She reached out to lay a hand on his forearm. “Any woman would be lucky to have you, but she also has to be smart enough to appreciate you.”

“Those aren’t exactly thick on the ground,” he muttered.

“You’re just not looking in the right place. Whether you stay like this or not, I’m convinced you’ll find the right one someday. I mean, you found Peggy, right?”

He nodded. “She appreciated who I was inside.”

“There you go. You just need someone as smart as her.”

Steve gave her an odd look but she chalked it up to the enlightening conversation.

After they finished the cookies and their drinks, Steve tried to stifle a yawn but Darcy caught it.

“Bed,” she insisted.

“I’m not tired,” Steve muttered, his eyelids already drooping. “I’m fatigued, there’s a difference.”

“Yeah, and both require rest. Go to bed.”

She knew he was more worn out than he looked when he gave up the argument. “Fine, but I’m not going to bed, I’ll just take a nap on the couch.”

“Your bed is comfier.”

He muttered something unintelligible then got up shakily and walked through the open-concept main room and over to her sitting area couch. She was pretty sure he was asleep before he was even fully horizontal.

A few minutes later, she silently got up then walked over to the couch and watched him sleep for a moment before taking the handmade afghan off the back of the couch and gently laying it over him. The blanket covered him from shoulders to toes with several inches to spare. His bangs had fallen into his face and she gently brushed them away before impulsively leaning down to kiss his forehead.

“Sleep well, Steve,” she murmured, then she went back to the kitchen, not noticing when Steve smiled faintly in his sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve woke up from his nap feeling better physically but disgusted with himself for even taking it. _I took on a whole army of Hydra goons, now I can’t even go three hours without needing a nap. Bruce and Tony better figure this out soon, I can’t live like this again._

Darcy wasn’t in the kitchen so he decided to seek her out. He found her in the guestroom, now officially his room, putting away his clothes. Unable to help a smile, he leaned against the doorway, content to watch her for a moment. She was hanging one of his now too-big suits in the closet when he saw her blush.

“Those were all birthday and Christmas gifts from Tony and Pepper,” he said and something in him couldn’t help liking it when she jumped slightly and blushed harder. “I’d never buy myself something that extravagant, but they do … did look good on me.”

“You could always have new ones made, assuming-”

“Assuming this,” he waved a hand to indicate his body, “is permanent? I guess so. But I’m not giving up on getting my real body back until we’ve exhausted every possibility twice.”

She hung the suit she was holding in the closet then approached him, saying gently, “You don’t think this is the real you anymore?”

“It never was,” he said quietly, looking down, away, anywhere to avoid her sympathetic gaze. “I never felt at home in my own skin until the serum. My body always felt too small to hold me. The serum made me feel like I was released from prison.”

“And now you feel like you’ve gone back?”

Steve nodded. “I just hope it’s not a life sentence.”

Being wrapped up in a hug was the last thing he expected, but as he found himself clinging to Darcy, he realized it was exactly what he needed. His best friend was soft and warm but also solid beneath his hands, giving him emotional and physical support that he sorely needed. He laid his forehead on her shoulder and it was like a dam inside him burst – he started to sob, shaking with all of his pent-up frustration and fear, his tears soaking her shirt.

Darcy, though, handled it like a champ. She didn’t say anything at first, she just held him close, one arm around his middle, her other hand coming up to gently stroke his hair. Steve didn’t know the name of her perfume but it smelled good, like fruit, flowers, and vanilla. So good, in fact, that he just wanted to keep on smelling it. The scent calmed him, but he suspected that was really more Darcy than her perfume.

After a moment, he pulled away, turning to wipe his eyes on the back of his hand and feeling her eyes on him. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“If you want to talk,” she said softly, “I’m here. If you don’t, it’s okay, I’m still here.”

Steve turned back to her, surprised. “My little outburst didn’t scare you off?”

“I’m a big girl, I only get scared around guys when they raise their voices. You’d never do something like that to me, so we’re good.” She reached out to take his hand. “Having a good cry is therapeutic. I should know, I have them all the time.”

That got his attention – he could feel a switch inside him flipping to fight mode. “Who’s making you cry?”

“Nobody, Big Guy,” she said quickly, fighting hard to keep a smile off her face. “Just … life. Sometimes, shit just builds up and I need a release. Crying’s usually my best option.” A sudden blush on her cheeks made him wonder about her other options.

He shook his head slightly. _This isn’t the time for that._ “I … uh … I should lay down.”

“Good idea.” Darcy quickly cleared the bed of the rest of his clothes then turned down the comforter and sheet. “There.”

Steve took off his robe, which was too big and way too long but he didn’t have a choice, then he got into bed. Darcy was about to leave but he grabbed her wrist as she turned away. “Don’t go,” he murmured. “I… Could you stay with me, Darce? That is, if it’s okay with you?”

The smile she gave him was softness itself. “Of course. Let me go change first, okay?”

“Sure.”

As soon as he left, he started berating himself. _Dumbass. Of course she said yes, she feels sorry for you. And why wouldn’t she, you just bawled your eyes out on her shoulder._

She came back in a few minutes later, wearing a pink nightshirt with a print of white clouds and yellow moons all over it. It was faded and worn but he suspected it was her favorite. She climbed into bed next to him and he was drawn to her automatically.

He let out a sigh as she gently pulled him into her arms. “You good?” she murmured.

“Better than good,” Steve admitted softly as he tentatively wrapped his arms around her. “This is just what I needed.”

“Then I’m happy to help,” Darcy murmured. She brushed the bangs out of his eyes then she did something that had him holding his breath – she softly kissed his forehead. “Tell me about how you met Bucky.”

He let out the breath then smiled a bit. “Something tells me you’ve already heard his side.”

Darcy smiled innocently. “I’m not saying I did, but, hypothetically, if I had heard his version, I bet it wasn’t the absolute truth.”

Steve chuckled. “Uh huh. Well…” He started to tell the story, his eyes never straying from her attentive face, and he found he never wanted to stop talking.


	5. Chapter 5

Darcy woke to Steve curled into her side, his arm around her waist, still asleep. Slowly turning on her side towards him, she took in his relaxed features. His bangs were in his face again and when she brushed them back, he opened his eyes.

“Hi,” he murmured, smiling softly.

“Hey,” she murmured, smiling back. “Sleep well?”

“Surprisingly well, actually.” His arm pulled her fractionally closer. “The nap helped a lot but I think the company helped even more. I wish you could sleep with me all the time.” He blushed and Darcy felt her own cheeks warm. “Um, not like that.”

“It’s okay, Steve,” she murmured. “I knew what you were trying to say. If you really want me to share the bed, I will. You’re a gentleman so it’s not like I have to worry about whatever’s left of my virtue.”

With a small grunt, Steve pulled his arm away and turned onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. “You don’t have to worry even if I wasn’t a gentleman,” he muttered.

“What do you mean?” she asked gently, but she had a feeling she knew what he was going to say.

He turned his head to look at her, his eyes sad. “Because of everything else wrong with me, I’m back to being impotent.”

_Yeah, that’s what I thought, poor guy._ Her heart immediately went out to him and she sat up a bit, leaning on her elbow to gaze at him. “I’m sorry,” she said gently. “I can only imagine how much that must suck. What about Viagra? I know it wasn’t around in the ‘40s-”

“You’ve seen those commercials – the part about ‘ask your doctor if you’re healthy enough for sex?’ I’d fail in a heartbeat.”

She reached out to take his hand. “You know there’s other ways to be intimate, right?”

“Yeah, but if I’m with the woman I love, I want to show her in every way there is.”

“Steve, if she doesn’t love you for who you are, not what you can do, then she’s not the one for you.”

He gazed at her silently for so long that she started to get lost in his eyes, then his gaze turned to her lips and just when she thought he was going to kiss her, he moved to the edge of the bed and got up, not looking at her. “What time is it?” he muttered.

Darcy had a million questions but she set them aside and looked at the clock on the nightstand. “Almost seven, I should get dinner started.” She got out of bed. “Are steaks okay?”

“Steaks are fine,” he muttered, still not looking at her.

She walked around the bed to his side then took his hands. When he finally met her eyes, she smiled gently. “Think about what I said, okay?”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to do anything else,” he said, smiling weakly. She let go of his hands and just as she turned away to leave the room, Steve added, “And, Darce?”

She turned back to him, curious. “Yeah?”

He smiled at her softly. “If the woman I love doesn’t have as big a heart as you, she’s not worth catching.”

Darcy grinned cheekily. “You got that right.”

It wasn’t until she was safely back in her room that Darcy was able to admit to herself what everyone and their brother had seen all along. _I’m in love with Steve._

_Fuck._

* * *

After dinner, they watched _Jurassic World_ on the couch in the living room. The last thing Darcy wanted was a rom-com or a period drama, so a nice dino disaster movie was perfect. After the initial “Does Owen look like Peter Quill to you?” “Yeah, he does.” moment, they settled into companionable silence.

But while her mouth was shut, her brain was racing at full tilt. _Okay, so I love Steve. What_ _do I do about it? Do I make a move? He’d bolt if I tried to kiss him. Or, bolt as much as a guy with a compromised body can. Maybe if I hold his hand again? Steve’s smart, he’ll see right through me._

A hand laying over hers abruptly brought her out of her thoughts. She looked over at Steve, confused.

He smiled at her gently. “It’s okay, the dinosaurs won’t eat everyone.”

_Steve thinks I’m tense because of the movie? I wish._ She smiled weakly. “Thanks, Big Guy.”

He leaned over to kiss her forehead then turned his attention back to the movie.

Darcy watched him for a moment. _I need to tell him soon or my heart will be in worse shape than his. God help me._


	6. Chapter 6

Dinner was quiet, though not for lack of trying on Darcy’s part. She kept trying to engage Steve in conversation but he gave monosyllabic answers at most. Finally, she gave up and left him to his silence.

_I can’t believe I told her. I should’ve just kept it to myself but she’s just so … open, she makes me want to talk. Well, every time except right now._

“I’m just so embarrassed,” he muttered, his eyes widening when he realized he said it out loud.

“Hey, don’t be,” she said gently, reaching out to take his hand. “I heard somewhere that most guys experience ED at some point.”

Steve smiled weakly. “That’s not as encouraging as you probably meant it.”

Darcy stuck her tongue out at him and he chuckled. “At least I got you to laugh,” she said, grinning, then her expression turned serious. “Look, if I’m your caregiver, then it’s important to know everything going on with you.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “I thought we were just roommates.”

She sighed quietly. “I wasn’t supposed to let that slip. Taking care of you is a lot more involved than what I did for Jane, but I was still the best person for the job. I helped my mom take care of my grandma when she came to live with us.”

He didn’t know how to feel about her little slip. Angry and hurt vied for the top position. “I’m not an invalid, Darce,” he said quietly.

“Actually, you kinda are.” He started to protest but she held up a hand. “Hear me out. I know you lived alone before you joined the Army and they didn’t have Life Alert back then. What would you have done if you had an asthma attack, no one else was around, and you couldn’t get to a phone?”

He glared at her but deep down, he knew she was right. “I would’ve died.” Before she could say anything, he pulled his inhaler out of the pocket of his robe and added, “But now I have this.”

“That’s an inhaler, not a panacea. Even if your asthma is under control, there’s still everything else to deal with.”

“I can take care of myself, Darcy,” he insisted.

It was her turn to raise an eyebrow. “On your best days, yeah, but look me in the eye and tell me you’re physically capable of taking care of yourself on your worst days.”

Steve glared at her and she glared right back. Finally, he looked down, saying quietly, “Fine, you’re right, but only on my worst days.”

“Where are you at today?” She had given him a ten-point scale of fatigue symptoms.

“Five, right in the middle.”

“Okay. Tell me if it gets worse.” She got up then took both of their empty plates to the sink.

“I will.” He paused, feeling his cheeks warm. “I’m going to try to take a shower before bed.”

She looked over at him. “Can you stand up for that long?”

“We’ll find out.”

* * *

The answer to Darcy’s question, as it turned out, was a solid “no.” By the time the water was warm enough, his legs were already giving out. It had just been too long of a day.

He sat on the edge of the tub, shaking. After a moment, he swallowed his pride and called out her name, grateful that he hadn’t locked the bathroom door.

“What’s wrong?” Darcy asked from the other side of the door.

“The shower was a bad idea,” Steve muttered. “I… Can you help me take a bath, please?”

“Um, sure,” she said after a moment. “Just let me change into something I can get wet in.”

The images that put in his head had him blushing furiously. “Right.” _What did I get myself into?_ He looked down at himself. _At least my body won’t give me away._

She came back a few minutes later, knocking lightly on the door before opening it. Her jeans and t-shirt had been traded for a navy blue one-piece swimsuit and a pair of shorts, and her hair was in a messy bun. Instinct made him want to close his legs but he knew she was going to see everything anyway, so there was no point. Darcy, for her part, looked everywhere but at him.

_This is never going to work._ “Darcy,” he said gently, “look at me.”

Darcy’s eyes darted to his, never leaving his face. Her cheeks were bright pink and he couldn’t help thinking that it made her look even more attractive. “Sorry. I just… I’ve never bathed a grown man before.”

“I won’t hurt you,” he murmured. “I never would, plus there’s the fact that I literally can’t.”

“Oh, you still could,” she muttered as she moved to the cabinet above the toilet and took out towels and a washcloth. “Just not physically.”

_What does she mean by that?_ “Darcy?”

“Forget I said anything,” she muttered. Setting the towels and washcloth on top of the closed toilet, she then moved past Steve to turn off the shower and start filling the tub. As soon as it was full, she turned to him, smiling weakly. “Need a hand?”

“Yeah, probably both,” he muttered. She helped him into the tub and he knew the exact moment she saw his privates when she blushed furiously. Once he was settled in the warm water, she busied herself with looking through the cupboard under the sink. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“It’s okay, Steve,” she said, not looking at him. “They’re part of you.” Finally, she pulled his toiletries out of the cupboard and set them beside the tub then knelt in front of it, her eyes once more resolutely on his face. “Is the temperature okay?”

“It’s fine,” he assured her. “Just the way I like it.” He leaned back and closed his eyes, letting the water relax him.

After a moment, Darcy murmured, “You really are gorgeous, Steve.”

He chuckled softly then opened his eyes and grinned at her. “That’s the second time today you called me that. Keep it up and my ego will be as big as Tony’s.”

Darcy giggled. “Can’t have that. So, um, can you wash yourself?”

“Yeah, for the most part. I think I just need help with my hair.”

She gave him the washcloth and bottle of body wash then kept up a conversation about team gossip while he scrubbed himself clean. Except for when she looked away while he washed below the waist, she kept her eyes on his face the entire time. Steve knew it wasn’t her intention but the effect was enchanting.

_The most gorgeous woman in the world is right in front of me and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it._ He looked away, finally breaking eye contact.

“Hey,” she said gently, “what’s wrong?”

“I just … I wasted a lot of time.”

“We all feel that way sometimes, I think it’s just part of being an adult.” She had him lean forward so she could wash his hair. Her fingers massaging his scalp felt so good that he let out a low moan.

“That good, huh?” she asked, amused.

“You have no idea,” he muttered. “You’re a godsend, Darce.”

“I aim to please,” she murmured.

Once she had washed and conditioned his hair, she drained the tub then helped him to stand before grabbing one of the towels and helping him dry off then helping him get out of the tub. The other towel and a blow-dryer took care of his hair then she helped him into his robe.

“Tomorrow, we’re getting you clothes that fit,” she said.

“That’d be nice,” he muttered then he looked at her. “Thank you, Darcy, for everything.”

She smiled at him softly and it felt like every cliché in every song ever written. “You’re welcome, Steve, but you might want to save your thanks for after we get through the gauntlet that is modern clothes shopping.”

He chuckled. “Right.” An impulse struck him and he had no choice, he had to go with it. Leaning close, he softly kissed Darcy’s cheek, leaving her staring at him wide-eyed. He simply grinned. “I’ll get ready for bed. Coming?”

“Oh, um, yeah, just let me make sure all the lights are off.”

Steve watched her leave, unable to keep a grin off his face. _Am I only now in love with her or am I just realizing it? Either way, I’m gonna do all I can to keep her, healthy or not._


	7. Chapter 7

“So, what, you forgot you’re not six-foot-two and two hundred and forty pounds?” Darcy asked as she handed him a bag of frozen peas. _I love one (1) entire dumbass, I swear._

Steve obediently held the bag up to his swollen right eye. “Nope, I fought plenty of guys when I was like this.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said from where he leaned against the kitchen island, “and he lost every time. I take it the guy at the store was another bully?”

“Sexual harasser,” Steve said.

The former assassin smirked. “That’s a new one.”

“Not to me, Darcy,” he explained. “He kept hitting on her and wouldn’t stop when she told him to back off so I-”

“So, you decided to be the hero.” Bucky shook his head sadly. “You can take the dumbass out of Brooklyn but you can’t take Brooklyn out of the dumbass. You’re lucky I was in the neighborhood, pal.”

“Yeah, I owe you one,” Steve muttered.

“You can pay him back when you’re not about to keel over,” Darcy said, then she turned to Bucky. “Meanwhile, I’ve got an apple pie in the fridge, it’s all yours, Bucky.”

“I thought that pie was for us,” Steve protested.

Darcy smirked at him. “Pies are for rescuers, not the ones needing to be rescued.”

Bucky grinned at her. “Thanks, Darcy. I love Nat but she couldn’t bake a pie if her life depended on it.” Taking the boxed pie from the fridge, he looked at Steve. “Try to stay out of trouble for the rest of the day, Nat and I have a date tonight.”

“No promises,” Steve muttered.

Darcy escorted Bucky out of her apartment then she walked back to the kitchen. Steve was still sitting at the kitchen table, the frozen bag still held in place on his eye. He looked so sad and disappointed with himself that her irritation melted away.

She sat down next to him, smiling softly. “You’re still my hero, you know.”

“Yeah, I must look really heroic right now,” he muttered.

“You stood up for me, that’s all that matters.” She reached out to take his free hand. “I’ve always wanted a white knight, what I got instead was a red, white, and blue knight.”

Steve chuckled. “That was bad.”

“Yeah, but it made you laugh.” She leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Take it easy while I bake us another pie.”

“I’m definitely not going anywhere,” he muttered but a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

* * *

After dinner that night, Darcy did the dishes while Steve found something for them to watch in the living room. By the time she joined him, he had fallen asleep sitting up. Smiling to herself, she sat down next to him then brought a hand up to lightly stroke his cheek.

“Steve?” she murmured.

“Hmm?” he asked, his eyes still closed.

“Do you wanna go to bed?”

“Only if you come with me.” He opened his eyes and smiled at her tiredly. “I sleep better when I’m with you.”

She smiled back softly. “Okay. Do you need help?”

“No, just a warm, soft, gorgeous woman to cuddle with.”

Darcy smirked. “I’ll call Christine.”

Steve chuckled. “Strange would object, besides, I wasn’t talking about Dr. Palmer.”

“Pepper?”

“Nope.”

“Jane?”

“Getting warmer.”

“Thor?”

Steve let out a sound Darcy would swear was a growl then he put a hand behind her head and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. It took her a moment to get over her shock then she kissed him back with all the passion that had been building up for as long as she’d known him.

All too soon, Steve pulled back, breathing heavily as he stared at her.

Darcy was immediately concerned. “Do you need your inhaler?”

He shook his head a bit. “No, just … um … just my girlfriend?”

The best answer she could give was an ear-to-ear grin.


	8. Chapter 8

Sharing a bed with his girlfriend felt different than sharing a bed with his friend, even when the friend was someone he knew he was in love with. Steve put on the nicest pair of pajamas they’d bought that day then got into bed and waited patiently for Darcy. She came into the room a few minutes later, wearing a tank top and matching shorts set he hadn’t seen before.

Steve smiled a bit. “Are those new?”

Darcy grinned. “I bought them while you were trying on jeans. Do you like them?” She did a little twirl.

“They’re cute.” He pulled back the comforter and sheet for her and she got into bed. Steve wasted no time pulling her into his arms. “I feel like this is where you belong,” he murmured as he gazed at her.

“No arguments here, Big Guy,” Darcy murmured as she wrapped her arms around him. “We can stay like this for as long as you want.”

Steve gazed into her big blue eyes, desperately wanting to tell her those three little words, but thoughts of the future stopped him. _If I’m stuck like this for the rest of my life, I can’t expect her to commit to a guy who can’t even get it up, let alone give her children._

Her hand came up to smooth away the furrow in his brow. “What’s wrong?” she murmured. “You were fine a minute ago.”

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I was just … thinking about the future.”

“Our future?”

“Basically. Darcy … I don’t want you to make any sort of commitment if Bruce and Tony can’t find a way to fix me.”

“Steve-”

“Hear me out, sweetheart. You deserve more than somebody who’s broken. You deserve a guy who can make love to you, who can father your children. You definitely deserve a guy who doesn’t get winded just by crossing a room.”

“So, what, you’re saying that if the Science Bros can’t replicate the serum, you’re breaking up with me?” She looked somewhere between amused and annoyed, then she settled on annoyed. “Steve, for one thing, you’re not broken.” When he started to protest, she laid a finger on his lips. “You’ve got health issues, sure, but we can work around them if we have to.”

He took her hand then gently pulled it away from his mouth. “I want you to be happy.”

Darcy smiled a bit. “And I’m happiest when I’m with you, dumbass.” She moved closer to kiss him softly. “And as for sex, penis-in-vagina isn’t the be-all and end-all of naughtiness. We’ve still got mouths and fingers to consider, assuming something like that won’t blow a fuse.”

He heard himself saying, “I’ll ask.” He sighed quietly then held her close, lowering his head to kiss her bare shoulder. “I don’t want to disappoint you, or leave you unsatisfied.” He paused then murmured, “If this is permanent and you still want to be with me emotionally, I think you should find-”

“Steven Grant Rogers,” she cut in, annoyed, “if you’re going to suggest that I find somebody to fuck while I’m dating you, I swear to God, I will kick your ass. Believe me, you are the only person I need to be satisfied, sexually or not.” She lightly tapped the top of his head. “Get it through your thick skull, you’re it for me.”

Steve chuckled, relaxing. “If you’re sure?”

“Positive.”

“Alright.” He kissed her softly then murmured, “You won’t regret this, Darce.”

She grinned. “Now that’s the kind of thing I want to hear from you, Steve.”

* * *

He woke the next morning to Darcy’s face buried where his neck met his shoulder, her whole body pressed against his, seeking his warmth. Steve realized why when he saw that she had kicked off the comforter and sheet sometime in the night.

_She’s not going to get much warmth from me, I can barely make enough for myself._ Still, he held her close, his hand lightly stroking her hair. “I love you,” he murmured, thinking it was safe to say while she was asleep.

“I love you too,” she murmured, her voice muffled.

Steve froze, too shocked to know she had heard him to feel elated at her response. “You’re awake?”

Darcy lifted her head to grin at him. “I woke up freezing a few minutes ago. I forgot I like to crank up the A/C at night in the summer to make it easier to sleep.”

“I’m sorry I’m not a better bed warmer.”

“Shush, you’re fine.” She kissed him softly then smiled a bit. “So, Captain America, Mr. First Avenger himself, can only tell his girlfriend he loves her when he thinks she’s asleep?”

“Fear and doubt,” he said quietly, one hand coming up to stroke her cheek.

“Relationship killers,” she murmured, nodding. “Listen to me, Steve, and listen well ‘cause I’m only gonna say this once more.”

He couldn’t help smiling. “I’m listening.”

“I love you, no one else. I want to be with you, no one else. Whether the Science Bros can give you back what that ray gun took from you or not, whether we’ll ever be able to do anything more than make out or not, I will stay with you. You’re it for me, got it?”

“Got it,” he murmured, grinning with relief. He was about to kiss her when a voice spoke up.

“Pardon me, Capt. Rogers, Ms. Lewis,” Friday’s disembodied voice said apologetically, “but Director Fury wants the Avengers in the War Room immediately.”

Steve groaned quietly then looked up at the ceiling. “I’m on medical leave.”

“I apologize but Director Fury insists that you are still part of the team.”

Darcy just looked amused. “See? They still need you. Go on.”

He gave her a long, lingering kiss then murmured, “Wait for me?”

“Always,” she whispered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating has gone up. ;)

After Fury’s briefing, Steve soon found himself sitting at the conference table in the Helicarrier, talking to the rest of the team on the comm while they took down the bad guys. Thanks to SHIELD satellites and drones, he could see the entire battlefield and give everyone direction while still out of harm’s way.

“Nice to have the Voice of God in my ear,” Tony quipped as he shot down another alien.

“Does that mean you’ll actually listen to me?” Steve asked, smirking.

“No more than usual.”

“Enough bantering with the old man, Stark,” Nat cut in. “That’s Darcy’s job.”

Steve chuckled. “Thanks, Nat. There’s two coming up on your three o’clock.”

“Got ‘em.”

On the way back to New York after the battle was won, Bruce and Tony pulled Steve aside. By the looks on their faces, he could tell their news was bad.

“No luck on finding a way to fix me?” Steve asked quietly.

“The good news is that we figured out the serum is still in your body,” Bruce said, managing a weak smile. “Specifically, it’s in your heart.”

“Poetic,” Steve couldn’t help saying.

“The bad news is that the alien technology blocked the serum from getting into your blood like it should, so your body went back to default mode,” Tony said.

Steve rolled his eyes. “That’s one way of putting it. So, now what?”

“There’s a chance,” Bruce said, “a small one, that it’s temporary.”

“And if it’s not?” Steve asked, though he already knew the answer.

“We’ll blow up that bridge when we come to it,” Tony insisted.

* * *

Steve went back to his and Darcy’s apartment so frustrated he could barely think straight. _Two of the smartest minds on the planet and they can’t find a way around this. I can’t spend the rest of my life as half a man._

Darcy was watching TV when he came in, she immediately jumped up and went over to him, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“The team saved the day, if that’s what you mean,” he muttered, not looking at her.

She gently took his hands. “That’s great, but what about you? Is everything okay with you?”

“No,” he muttered, still not meeting her eyes.

That changed when she pulled him into an embrace. He sighed quietly and wrapped his arms around her, breathing in the scent she always wore.

Darcy stroked his back through his t-shirt then paused. “You’re so tense. There’s gotta be something we can do about that.”

“Like what?”

“How about another bath?” She paused then added, smiling softly, “With me?”

Steve stared at her. “Darce-”

She grinned. “There won’t be any homeruns but I see nothing wrong with second base.”

His eyes strayed to her breasts, nicely displayed in her top, and he couldn’t help agreeing. “Neither do I.”

Darcy kissed him softly then led him to the bathroom, where she filled the tub while he got undressed. Unsurprisingly, his body still refused to react to the gorgeous woman bending over in front of him. Steve tried not to let that bother him but he could feel it bringing down the mood she was trying to lighten.

She turned to him when the tub was full and he was down to just his boxers. “What’s wrong?” she murmured.

Steve frowned. “You already know the answer to that,” he said quietly. “I want to show you how much I love you but I can’t.”

“Oh, Steve,” she murmured as she wrapped her arms around him. “You show me every time you look at me.”

He couldn’t help a small smile. “I must look like a puppy chasing after you.”

“Well, you are as adorable as a puppy.”

“And about the size of one,” he muttered.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Hey, as far as I’m concerned, right now, you are the perfect size for me – it’s nice to not have to crane my neck to kiss a guy.”

Steve chuckled, he couldn’t help it. “If … when I’m six-foot-two again, I’ll make sure to lift you up every time we kiss so you don’t have to worry about your neck.”

“Good idea,” she said, giggling. She kissed him softly, sweetly, and he held her close as he kissed her back.

“I love you, Darcy,” he murmured, his forehead pressed against hers. “I want nothing more right now than to make love to you all night long.”

“We’ll get to that point someday, I promise,” she murmured. “But in the meantime…”

He nodded then let go of her and took off his boxers before gingerly getting into the tub. It was more than big enough for the two of them and filled with warm water and fluffy white bubbles. Steve looked away as Darcy started to undress out of a sense of modesty.

She noticed, of course, murmuring, “I don’t mind if you watch.”

“I know, it’s just…” He trailed off helplessly.

Darcy finished getting undressed then she stepped into the tub and sat down beside him. He looked at her then, the bubbles obscuring most of her body, but love was plain to see in her eyes and soft smile. “I don’t mind your modesty, Steve. In fact, I love it.” One of her hands came up to stroke his cheek while the other took his hand. “Do you want to touch me?” she murmured.

Steve swallowed hard, nodding. He’d had sex before, of course, but never with a woman he loved. She guided his hand to her breast and his other hand did the same. Her large, full breasts were the perfect size and the weight of them felt right in his hands. He brushed his thumbs over her hardened nipples and she let out a low moan.

After a few moments of that, she gently pulled his hands away then she straddled his lap, keeping her weight on her knees instead of on him. He appreciated the effort, especially since he knew her knees would hurt if they were in that position too long. Wrapping his arms around her securely, he lowered his head to take one pink nipple into his mouth, listening to her moan his name appreciatively as he teased and sucked it, her hands in his hair, lightly tugging whenever he tried something new.

He switched to her other breast and he was only teasing that one for a moment before she tugged a little harder on his hair and he let go, looking up at her curiously.

“Kiss me,” she murmured. At that moment, Darcy was more beautiful that he had ever seen her. Her cheeks were flushed a becoming pink, her pupils were blown, and her full lips looked so soft and wet. She lowered her head and he kissed her deeply, his hands moving of their own accord down to cup her bottom.

Darcy moaned appreciatively into his mouth as she returned the kiss just as passionately. When they came up for air, she grinned at him. “Who says we need anything but our mouths?”

Steve chuckled. “I take it that means you don’t want to see what I can do with my fingers?”

“Mmm. In a little while.” She slid off him then leaned against his arm until he wrapped it around her shoulders. “I just want to sit with you and enjoy the moment.”

“I hope they’re all like this,” he murmured, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“I have a feeling they will be.”


End file.
